So it’s been a little while since I’ve written. That’s because school has been really insane. This past week we had a head anatomy exam on Monday, and a Neuroscience exam on Thursday. Until Thursday night, I don’t think I had a full night of sleep in about three weeks, it’s been nonstop studying. This weekend, however, has been amazing :)
Thursday night I went to the airport and picked up Scott, who I hadn’t seen in 5 weeks. Which is entirely too long! It was the perfect weekend for him to come though, as I don’t have an exam this coming week until Friday. Friday morning Scott came to class with me (and was bored out of his mind, I’m sure!), and then we went to the TG to get some free delicious food and hang out with friends. That night I slept… a lot… something like 10 hours! And it was amazing. Saturday I took Scott to dinner and a play on a riverboat in Sacramento to celebrate his birthday, which is March 7th, since we won’t be together for it. We got all dressed up and had a really great time :) It was so nice to get away with my husband and not worry about school for a few hours. Saturday night I slept another 11 hours, so nice! I was really behind in sleep, and I need to be well rested for the remainder of the quarter. I woke up this morning (just barely still morning!) to find out that the cardiovascular physiology grades had been posted. My heart was pounding as I pulled up the webpage… and then I literally jumped up and down and screamed as I saw the A- sitting there as my course grade. Woooo!!! Not only did I pass, I did waaaaay better than I even thought possible!! It definitely made my day even better than it already was, and it’s a huge weight off of my shoulders. :D Scott and I then spent the day out and about, and then went and saw Shutter Island, which was pretty good but also depressing. Now we’re lounging at home, with a frozen pizza in the oven. Best weekend ever. :)
Okay, so today was the dreaded cardio exam. I studied for many, many hours over the weekend and on Monday and Tuesday, hanging out on campus in study rooms with friends until 2am most nights. I worked extremely hard to master the material. The whiteboard in my apartment was covered in flow charts, graphs, and equations.
I walked into the exam almost hopeful, feeling like I had a decent understand of all of the concepts. But of course, once I started the test, I realized just how much I didn’t know. I left honestly not knowing if I passed or not. I very seriously could’ve failed that exam. And, therefore, the entire class. It makes me feel not so bright… I mean, how could I have studied that hard and not only not ace the exam, but not even feel sure that I passed?
So I should feel terrible, right? I did right after. But a sense of calm has come over me. The exam, and therefore class, is over and there’s greatness in that. And I’ve already taken the exam, turned it in, and that’s that. Whatever happens will happen, and I’ll go from there. I’ll survive, for sure.
The best part of my day was coming home and cleaning my white board. There was something cathartic about wiping off and erasing all of that cadio crap! It’s now clean and white and glistening with two words in large black writing: It’s Over!! :)
Today’s nutrition exam was painful. Unnecessarily so. As in, I studied for many, many hours and worked very hard to be prepared and I walked out praying for a C. It’s really frustrating when your grade is so not representative of the time and effort that you put in. It was just an insane amount of material, and all of the questions were about the teeny tiny details. Ugh!!
Now I’m sitting in cardio lab. With this man, if you become lost at the beginning, you’re just screwed. I missed something when he first began talking, and so I gave up. But it’s just making me even more terrified for this final, on Wednesday. Nine people failed this exam last quarter (and therefore the class). That’s unheard of in vet school, unless the exam is completely ridiculous and insane. To put it simply: I’m terrified. The material is mostly over my head and I feel like I don’t have enough time (or smarts) to really get it.
I’m overwhelmed. I’m really effing tired (should’ve slept instead of studying – didn’t make much difference). I totally killed my A in nutrition with today’s exam. I’m scared of failing cardio and having to repeat my first year.
I feel like screaming and pulling all of my hair out. I now fully understand why everyone says that this is the worst/hardest quarter in vet school. At this point, I just want to survive, I just want to pass. I’ve never aimed for “passing” before in my life, and it’s kind of sad, but it’s true.
Spring Break cannot come soon enough.
Today I took Persephone in to pass peacefully. Her tumor had grown very aggressively, and she was rapidly losing weight and had become lethargic. It was time for her to say goodbye. She will be very missed. :(