Thankfully, the trip back to Davis was a little nicer as far as the kitties were concerned. There was no poo, no vomit, and Arwen didn’t really get into crying until about half way. I made record time getting back, not without notice from the cops. About 20 miles from home, I got pulled over. Ugh! While I’m annoyed about the ticket and having to pay it, I couldn’t be angry at the cop. I *was* going 80 in a 65. But… doesn’t everyone? I just wish that I were pretty/girly/flirty enough to get out of it!
I had such a great Spring break, spending time in Seattle with friends, lounging around the house with my husband, dinner and hookah with friends in L.A., and a new hair color! It was so sad leaving Scott today, I know that it’s going to be impossible for me to get to sleep tonight in that big empty bed. I miss him already, but I’ll see him in 3 weeks and hopefully that time will fly by.
Tomorrow Spring quarter starts, nice and early. I’m taking an elective that’s Mondays and Wednesdays at 8am. Sure, it’s early, but that’s what I’m here for. And I’m excited about this elective, I’m pretty sure it’s going to be awesome. Here’s my schedule for this coming quarter, my last of first year:
- Normal Urinary Systems
- Vet Parasitology
- Veterinary Genetics (I’m stoked about this class – I hope it’s as awesome as it is in my head.)
- Radiography (continued)
- Veterinary Hematology
- Husbandry, Feeding and Management of Captive Animals (the elective that I’m excited about)
- Large Animal Radiology Case Discussions (I’m excited about this, as well)
All in all it seems like a pretty rad quarter. And the schedule itself doesn’t seem too terrible – lots of days that are done at 2pm, and we only have one lab in the actual gross lab.
I suppose I should get some sleep. It’s going to be a long day because guess what I get to do in the afternoon? Primate physicals at the California National Primate Research Center!!! Thanks Lab Animal Medicine Club :) Now THAT is how to start off a new quarter!
Grades are all in for winter quarter, and I actually did better than last quarter!! I never brag, but I am really proud of myself because I seriously worked my ass off and deserve those awesome grades. There’s not much that’s more frustrating than studying really hard and not having your grades reflect that.
I got back from Seattle yesterday afternoon. I had the most amazing time ever; I have seriously amazing friends and I’m so fortunate to have those people in my life. The weekend was truly epic, and I’ll just leave it at that.
Now I’m relaxing in Burbank with my husband and cats, enjoying having nothing at all to do. My husband made yummy pasta for dinner, American Idol is on TV, and all is right with the world right now. I picked up 2 books at Barnes & Noble today that have absolutely nothing to do with vet medicine and I am so excited to dive into them. I’ve read my entire life, and have always had a book on the nightstand, to at least read a bit before going to sleep. Yet vet school has removed that from my life, and I haven’t read a “fluff” book since starting.
Oh! And I got accepted into the STAR program!!! I can’t wait to being my research this summer :)
Spring Break is finally here. Today I took my last final, head anatomy. I was so burnt out, unmotivated, and unfocused that despite getting very little sleep and “studying” a lot, I was really unprepared. And it showed. Immediately afterward, I was feeling pretty defeated. But it wasn’t long before I decided that I didn’t care!! I’m DONE WITH WINTER QUARTER!! WOoooo! That’s all that matters right now :) So I went home, packed up the cats, and drove the 6 hours to L.A. It was not the most fun drive. I was incredibly tired, Arwen cried the entire time, Moo Kitten pooed, and Simon vomited right as I arrive in Burbank.
But I’m here! No school for a week! And I get on a plane bound for Seattle in just over 9 hours! Now to spend a couple of hours with the best husband on the planet before leaving for a few days…
Sorry about the grumpiness of yesterday’s post. It’s a really stressful and scary time for us here as we enter finals week of what is reportedly the hardest quarter ever, and I guess I’m a little touchy. It just came off as really condescending and boastful, and that kind of thing just gets on my nerves. But what would normally be a little irritating was magnified by my current mental state.
Speaking of mental states, I’m totally fried. I’ve been studying respiratory physiology for the past couple of days, trying to get through all of the lectures and the entire syllabus before the weekend, as that’s reserved for neuroscience. But it’s 10:30pm on Friday night, I have 30 more pages of the syllabus and 3.5 lectures to complete, and I just can’t. get. moving. All I want, more than anything in the entire world, is to crawl into bed and sleep. I can’t do that though, so it looks like I need to chug another Red Bull (the first one did nothing!!) and get cracking…
Why would you tell someone, completely out of the blue, that your GPA last quarter was 3.95 and your class rank was 14? And then COMPLAIN about it? Especially when you KNOW I did worse than that? I did not ask, and I did not express any interest in knowing. So why would you tell me? To brag? That’s pathetic. To make sure I know how smart you are? To feel better about yourself?
Guess what? I don’t give a shit. We’re in vet school, everyone is smart, no one is better than anyone else, and we’re all going to come out doctors. So your petty competition is pretty much useless and pointless here. Sometimes I feel like I’m in a foreign world in which I completely don’t belong.
I’ve been having kinda crazy mood swings: between motivated and studying hard (those don’t last long), feeling apathetic about the quarter and just wanting it to be over, and panicked stressing, feeling like I’m just not smart enough to be here. Right now I’m the latter, but just a short time ago I was the former. This was caused by the grades from the final we took yesterday being posted. I did really well in the two sections, which I felt not great about, but did really (really) poorly in the one section I was confident about. I’m still really confused how I messed it up so badly, I felt so confident about every answer… and it was just enough to leave me 0.2% away from the grade I really wanted. And it’s frustrating because I studied so hard. I e-mailed the professor so that I can hopefully meet with him to see where I went so horribly wrong.
So now I’m sitting here, depressed and annoyed, totally thinking how I’m just not good enough to cut it no matter how hard I study, yet not doing anything about it. All the while I’m losing out on precious sleep. I need to shake this funk and get my ass in gear, or my finals are going to just completely kick my ass.
It doesn’t help that today’s date has huge negative significance for me, and I’ve been trying my best all day to fight the feeling that comes over me on March 10th.
My husband taught me something last weekend. As we came back from Sacramento on the night we celebrated his birthday (which was actually today), he stopped and stood still on the pathway leading to the stairs up to our apartment. I turned and gave him a quizzical look… he just smiled at me and said, “Frogs.” I had never noticed before, but late at night you can totally hear frogs croaking here in Davis. I haven’t lived somewhere with that possibility in a very, very long time — probably about 8 years.
I was on campus today from 12:30pm – 12:30am. I started off with a GI Anatomy podcast, then met with Deanna in our favorite study room and finished all of my flashcards for Tuesday’s exam, I then moved on to start and work on my project for my mouse elective, hit a roadblock and moved on to the Comparative Anatomy final, and finished the night by returning to GI Anatomy to review histology slides. It was a very long and tiring day. But when I got home, I stopped on the pathway leading to my apartment, and listened for a few moments. The air was cool and crisp, and the frogs were all singing to each other.
It sounds cheesy, but sometimes you have to stop and appreciate the small things.
Also, since it was my husband’s birthday today, I want to mention that I am the luckiest woman on the planet. I have the most amazing, caring, understanding, and supportive partner and could not make it through this journey without him. He’s also incredibly sexy, which certainly doesn’t hurt things ;) I totally feel like I won the husband lottery, and I wasn’t even playing! Our marriage is amazing, and what all marriages should be like. These have been, without a doubt, the happiest (almost!) 6 years of my life, and I look forward to celebrating a million more birthdays with him.
Wow, I’m full of cheese tonight, huh? :) That’s okay, it’s necessary from time to time.